PIZZA REVIEW

PIZZA CRITIQUE

CLAIRE SCHMITT

This week in class we taste tested three different kinds of pizza and their crusts. There was a frozen pizza, a homemade pizza crust, and a store bought pizza crust. In my personal opinion, pizza is not the most appealing food, so beware of some biased reviews from a person far from being a pizza expert!

1. Frozen Pizza

Oh lord, where do I begin? On a scale from 1-10, I would sadly give this train wreck a 1.5. My reasoning behind this was that the crust was flavorless and overall very dull. It had a cardboard-like appearance with its unnatural smoothness and light color. The texture was stale and dry while the taste was a mixture of burnt and sweet. What a weird combination. It's aroma was very weak and basically was non-existent. The overall appearance of this pizza was flat and dull with the sad chunks of meat and the range of colors from burnt to unnatural. The overall acceptability was revolting, and  something I would never choose to eat. Let's just say I would have to be very desperate to choose something like this to eat over anything else!

2. Homemade White Crust Pizza

Out of all three pizzas, this was the most acceptable to me. Does that mean that I loved it and would want to eat it again? No. Like I said before, ya girls not a fan of pizza. On a scale of 1-10, this one would get a solid 3. This texture was slightly hard, but definitely softer than the other two. It was the thickest of the two also, and had the most variety of color and grease. The taste was salty and greasy from the melted cheese, which also helped soften up the crust. There was not a strong taste that I would associate with this pizza because it was basically just plain and tasteless with a dash of salt and fat.  The color of this crust had an orange tint and the toppings colors were much more diverse than the other pizzas. The aroma was slightly sweet and moderately acceptable. The overall appearance was greasy and cheap looking (like when your mom would let you make pizzas at home for dinner with a kit that she bought at the grocery store when you were a kid). Also, the crust was slightly flaky if you were to grab one of the edge pieces. Overall, the acceptability was tolerable, but in my opinion it was nothing special. 

3. Pre-Made Crust

This pre-made crust was fine. Well, sort of fine. Out of ten, it would probably get a 2. This crust was on the thinner side and was very reminiscent of the crusts you would get in a lunchable. The texture was very hard and made the pizza feel stale tough. The taste was very weak. Honestly I tasted nothing but the crust, which was like a giant cracker. This bland pizza had a super pale color and looked dull and dry. It's aroma was not acceptable because of the fact that it smelled acidic and barf like. The overall appearance was lumpy and curdled from the cheese. According to my notes, I wrote "super super gross", so there's that.  It was also pale and flat, contributing to my overall acceptability of this pizza to be a big fat "NO". 


Overall, if I were stranded on a desert island and my only three options of food were these three pizzas, I would have to choose the Homemade White Crust Pizza. My reasoning behind this is that the texture of this pizza was the most appealing because of its different levels of hardness and chewiness. Also, this pizza had a better scent that actually reminded me of tomato sauce, which is a big factor in pizza for me. Was this pizza the best pizza I have ever had in my life? No. But it did have some aspects to it that I did somewhat enjoy and made the pizza the best out of the three (in my opinion). Well, I bid thee farewell as I continue on my journey to finding the most appealing pizza to me that will result in some socks being blown off.  

**enjoy this picture of a dog eating pizza. I know this is unnecessary to have in a pizza critique but it's just too darn cute!